Pride Goeth.

I had been home for a couple weeks.

I was a model patient in the hospital and in rehab, and when I got home, all of the things I was most worried about, whether it be going to the bathroom, or getting a shower, or getting into bed, were behind me.

We figured out the whole thing.

I was healing well, and I was feeling pretty cocky about it.

Now, when I got home, a lot of my clothes were too big for me. I’ve lost some weight over the last couple months, and, while I tend to wear my clothes baggy, some of these were way too big.

On a day when I wore a pair of those shorts, I had been joking with myself all day about how big they were, and how comical it was that whenever I stood up, they fell off.

Yes! I know it’s funny! So funny, in fact, that I was not even thinking about how dangerous those shorts were.

You see, I was in the bathroom, late at night, getting ready for bed, and I was tired, and I thought, “Oh, I’ll just kick them to the wheelchair when I stand up, and I’ll change when I get to my room…”

Talk about a one-legged man in a shorts kicking contest.

Of course, and obviously, the plan didn’t work. I kicked while standing at my walker, and slipped, and fell.

Having spent the previous 55 years with two legs, my very first instinct was to reach out with my left leg, and try and stabilize myself.

Of course, I no longer have a left leg.

So, I slipped and fell.

And I fell right square on Jimmy. It hurt, and it shocked me. And then, laying on the floor of my bathroom, after having screamed so my wife would come in, I had a bit of a nervous breakdown.

For the next several minutes, I sobbed uncontrollably. I felt like all of the good work I had done was for nothing. A total sham. A complete waste of my time and effort. I told her, while crying, that I was uselss, and a burden on her and my son, and that I wasn’t a whole person anymore…

Oh, yeah. It was a full-blown pity party. But I had been holding in all that stuff, and I didn’t even know it.

I was able to crawl over to the tub, and, with my wife’s help, I pulled myself up on a stool, and back into my wheelchair. I was exhausted.

The fall was bad, but it actually taught me a couple of things. One of which is that I’m not a burden on my family, and that they love me, and that they’re glad I’m alive. I am too, for the record. Didn’t always feel that way, but I really do now.

Another thing I learned is that you’re going to fall. It’s not a question of if, but when, and if you know what to do, and how to handle it, it’s a lot better. The spectre of falling was so scary, that it jolted me emotionally much more than causing physical pain.

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It is six weeks later, and I am home alone, as my wife and kid are at soccer practice. I get up from my couch and transfer to my wheelchair to try and go to the bathroom. My good foot gets tangled in the chair, and down I go again.

This time, however, I took a deep breath and realized that I needed to solve the situation myself, or stay on the floor until they got home in a couple hours.

In addition, I scraped up my elbow, so I was bleeding some. It would have and could have spiraled.

But it didn’t. I kicked it’s ass.

I remember what my physical therapist said after the first fall, which was, “If you feel like you’re going to fall, get as close to the ground as possible, and try and land on your good leg.”

I did that, and it was a good thing. Not a disaster. I learned.

I pulled myself up onto the couch by myself, and I got in the chair. It was all good, I called the wife and told her, just so she knew I was ok. And I really was ok. Physically and mentally. I fell. No big deal.

What’s the lesson here?

I don’t know, really. Just that pride really did go before the fall that first time, and it was all gone by the time I hit the floor.

But knowing that I wasn’t useless, that my family really loves me and are glad I’m here, that made the second fall much easier to bear.

You are valued. You are loved.

Falling down sucks. It is worth it to get up. If you need help getting up, I’m here.

Just another one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest.

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As always, if you have it in you, please give a thought to donating time or money to Hospice Austin. They do amazing work for people who are going through the hardest thing a person can face.

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