On Friends.

You’ll notice that I don’t name a lot of people by their name here on the blog, with the possible exception of a couple of first names. That’s by design, because I don’t think it’s nice to put people’s name out in the world without their permission.

However, I don’t want for one second for you to think that it’s because I don’t appreciate them.

On the contrary, my friends are one of the most important things in my life.

When I first woke up from the surgery, I had dozens of texts and phone calls from people both near and far. Some I’d talked to a couple days prior, and some that I hadn’t heard from in months or years. It didn’t matter. They were there.

My friends started a meal train for my family. They came to visit in the hospital. They raised money. They drove my family from the airport. They helped fix a plumbing emergency in my home that happened at perhaps the least precipitous time ever.

They visited. They called. They texted. They came and visited me at home. They did benefit shows in my honor. They rearranged, they accommodated. And they did it without any question.

They just did it.

I have often said that the only two times in your life that you understand how well you’ve been loved in your life are your wedding and your funeral, and you’re not present for one of them.

Well, I was wrong.

It turns out that catastrophic medical events bring your friends out in droves.

Even now, I get emotional when I think about all of the people in my life. I had been in a place where I was pretty singularly focused on the wrong things, and I’d sort of isolated myself.

Of the many wonderful things to have come from this, one of the very best is the level of love and support I have received from my many friends. I am truly, truly humbled.

Sometimes, I struggle to understand if and why I’m likable. But, my friends like me so much that they extended their love to my whole family.

It is a debt of kindness and love that I can never repay. I only know that I will do my best to honor it by passing it forward, and by continuing to keep in touch with all of them whenever I can.

I think I owe my beautiful friends at least that much.

But, if there’s a single takeaway from them, it’s this.

If you have a beef or an obstacle with your friends, or if the idea of catching up just seems to daunting, or if you’re worried that they’ll be mad at you because it’s been too long, or you’re mentally exhausted, or whatever, just squash that shit.

This whole thing could have turned out so much worse, and it would have been really awful if I had passed without knowing in my own mind how much my friends really, truly love me.

So, from the bottom of my heart, I love you all. I thank you all. I can never ever tell you how important you are to me, but I will try.

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As always, if you have it in you, please give a thought to donating time or money to Hospice Austin. They do amazing work for people who are going through the hardest thing a person can face.

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