More Setbacks.

I know…it’s been a while. I don’t really have any excuses, other than I returned to work, and that’s taken up a lot of my time. It shouldn’t have taken up all this time, though.

And, as if that weren’t enough, I had another setback. Sigh.

I’d been doing well. Every day with the prosthetic is different, whether it’s walking with a walker, or a cane, or on my own (which is rare, but has happened on a couple of occasions), and is dictated by a lot of different variables.

You see, Jimmy shrinks during the day. I know, right? It’s weird. But he does. And that shrinkage means that you need to add extra layers to him to make sure he fits and maintains suction within the prosthetic, which is how it stays attached.

This past weekend had been very good for me. I was able to walk with a cane to get to David’s soccer game, and then attend an acting class afterward, and go tech a show.

Sounds like a lot, doesn’t it?

Well, clearly my body thought so, as well. Because Monday morning, I suddenly got this terrible pain that I’d never had before, and it stopped me in my tracks. No foot. No cane. No walker.

Back to the wheelchair.

I stumbled back to the chair on Monday night and pretty much stayed there, thinking that maybe I’d just needed a little time to let it get better.

But, when Tuesday came, and it didn’t, I began to suspect that something was wrong. So, I canceled my physical therapy appointment (which is something I legitimately hate doing), and went to visit my prosthetist. He told me that Jimmy had swollen, and that I needed to postpone my fitting for a new socket, which was scheduled for the next day. He also told me I needed to spend at least a day off of the prosthetic, to see if it got any better.

Spoiler: It didn’t.

Wednesday, which was yesterday, Jimmy swelled up really big and started to…ooze. I know. It grosses me out, too, but I think we’re in this together at this point, so you may as well know.

Once again, my wife, who is the smartest of all of us, suggested we go to the emergency room to get it looked at.

Now, I know that I have previously said that you should listen when your partner tells you to go to the ER. I know that. I wrote it. I felt it. I believed it…but, still, I didn’t want to go. I was afraid. I have read horror stories about second amputations, and people who could never again wear prosthetics, and I, of course, was positive that it was going to be me.

Things have been going a little too well. Why wouldn’t the universe decide to curse me at this point?

But we went, and we waited. And we were in the room where we waited the first time. In March. The night my life changed. And I was terrified, and so sad. I didn’t want my life to change again. I didn’t want to be told that all of my good work was for naught. I already felt like I’d taken a giant step backward (pun intended) being back in the chair.

How far back was I going to have to step?

So, they brought us back. And I was so scared. And they took blood. And what I find out is this. I have cellulitis. An infection. Not a serious one, and one that can be treated with antibiotics at home. It should be about a week before I’m up and walking again, which sucks, but it beats the alternative.

And, yes, I know I’m lucky. And that things are going to be ok. But, can I just take a moment to say GODDAMN IT.

I am tired of 2026.

We got home at 1AM. I’m tired and cranky, so my positivity ain’t what it normally is. So much so that I just used the word “ain’t,” which is not something I’m prone to do.

But, this is not a linear process. There will be challenges. This is just one of them. And, likely, I’ll be back up and walking before too long, which is nice.

But I think it’s time to drop the suffering thing for a while. I’m beat.

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As always, if you have it in you, please give a thought to donating time or money to Hospice Austin. They do amazing work for people who are going through the hardest thing a person can face.

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